16. How to be a supportive LGBTQ+ parent while you're still on your own journey with Nichole Abshire, co-host, Go Behind the Ballot podcast

Nichole Abshire is a writer, an actor and co-host of the podcast Go Behind the Ballot. In today's episode, Nichole chats with me about why she decided to share her journey as an LGBTQ+ parent on her podcast, the ways in which her children have expanded her mindset, and how she found community in other LGBTQ+ parents and local organizations.

You can follow Nichole at  gobehindtheballot.com
@gobehindtheballot on Instagram, @gobehindballot on Twitter

Transcript

Episode 16: Nichole Abshire, co-host, Go Behind the Ballot podcast

[00:00:00] Angela: Welcome to the Gay Podcast for everyone, a podcast where my lgbtq plus community and our allies can come together in conversation and keep building stronger ones together. Whether you are in the lgbtq plus fam, or you're an ally, welcome, this is the Gay podcast for everyone, 

[00:00:18] Nichole: Clip of episode: and instead of feeling overwhelmed, I felt honored, honestly, and, and privileged to get, to be challenged in this way, to get to learn new things, like the way that my world has expanded.

[00:00:31] I'm about to get emotional, Ang. I just, I wouldn't trade it for anything. 

[00:00:36] Angela: Welcome to the Gay podcast for everyone. My name is Angela Briones, and that clip was my fellow podcaster, Nicole Abshire. Nicole is a writer and actor and co-host of Go Behind the Ballot, a podcast where two Texas moms dive into some pretty eye-opening subjects as it relates to Texas politics.

[00:00:53] I asked Nicole to join me today because on her podcast they just wrapped a culture war series where they broke down topics like gender identity and gender expression, and she shared her personal story as an LGBTQ parent, and I wanted to talk about those episodes. Nicole is a parent who has unconditional love for her.

[00:01:11] And when her child came out to her as non-binary, she realized she also had questions. What does that mean? What does that mean for you? For me? For us? How do we navigate this as a family, especially given the current political climate? Her mindset wasn't just, I wanna be supportive. But I wanna be supportive and helpful.

[00:01:27] But being helpful means I need to understand this too. This episode is such a heartfelt one, and I'm excited to share with you. And after this episode, please check out part two with Nicole. She joined me for a mini episode so that we could chat about the process of podcasting and sharing our voice in a space that is completely new to us.

[00:01:44] So if you're interested in podcasting or just looking for some motivation to share your story, I hope you'll enjoy that mini episode. All right, you guys, let's dive in. This is Nicole ab. All right. Welcome to the podcast, Nicole. Thank you so much for joining me. As you know, this podcast highlights my L G B T Q community and our allies, many of whom are parents, and highlights their journey.

[00:02:07] And I wanted to ask you to be here on the podcast because not only are you an ally, but you're also an L G B T Q parent, and you have a podcast that focuses on Texas politics. And right now, in politics in general, , there are many things affecting the LGBTQ plus community and especially our kids. So before we dive into that though, I know.

[00:02:29] But, um, do you mind giving us kind of like a little high level recap of the podcast and telling us a little bit about yourself too? 

[00:02:35] Nichole: Yes, yes. So I am Nicole Abshire , as you said, and, um, I am a podcaster. It just still feels funny to say, but yes, I am a podcaster and I co-host a go behind the ballot with Claire Campos O'Neil

[00:02:51] and our tagline is that we aim to demystify Texas politics one issue at a time. , it's not so secret. But our hope is that with that demystification, that people want to engage more with our democracy. Our real hope is that we see a Texas that is more representative of the actual population of Texas. So, um, that has been a really.

[00:03:16] Fascinating journey. I mean, if you would've told me a year ago, , that I would be co-hosting a podcast about politics, particularly Texas politics, I would, I just would not have believed you. I am a reluctant political, uh, what do we call it, novice. I'm not even sure what to call myself yet, but it has been so gratifying and really important to me.

[00:03:36] So I'm really grateful that this has become something that I do. So, Yeah, that is what our podcast is about. We release two episodes a week. We try to make the first one. Our Monday episodes really educational, so we're learning alongside the audience. Um, Claire, my co-host is much more politically fluent, I would say, and I'm, again, the novice who's, who's really kind of slowing down the conversation and asking questions.

[00:04:04] So it's been amazing. 

[00:04:06] Angela: That's awesome. I love that because when I listen to your podcast, and I love your podcast, by the way, I'm very much the same way as you are where I'm not, you know, I'm not very politically inclined. I do know that I need to get, well, I need to dive into issues more because it's, it's super important right now, especially,

[00:04:27] But I'm curious, can you tell me, like you said a year ago, you wouldn't have imagined you would do this. How did it even come up? You know, like, let's do this, this podcast about politics. How do you dive into that? Because I would be like, I'm not familiar enough with that topic to even dive in. Well, . 

[00:04:42] Nichole: Yes.

[00:04:43] Let me back up cuz I'm starting to jump to the end of that story, right? I wanna give you like the , the nugget, but let me build up to it a little bit, which is to say that I reconnected with Claire. We actually were in an acting class years ago together and just stayed connected over time and she knew that I had written a book.

[00:05:03] So spoiler. I wrote a romance novel a few years ago, and she was curious what that process was like. She was considering writing a book about her experience running for office because she ran for the Texas House and her district. So we got back together to talk about what the experience of writing and potentially self-publishing a book was.

[00:05:28] and then our conversation just kept evolving. We kept coming back every week and talking a little bit more about what maybe the next step could be, and it just kept, again, evolving where. , it seemed as if she wasn't as interested in writing the book as much as she was interested in doing something that was more immediate, having conversations about politics that could more quickly be out in the world than that kind of waiting period it would take to write and then publish a book.

[00:05:57] And the more she talked about that, the more I also learned about her that she is a super. Fan of podcasting. I think there's even a more specific term for people who listen to as many podcasts as she listens to. But it just sort of became clear that that made a lot of sense, uh, was to start a podcast and then bit by bit me being a part of that with her started to make sense too.

[00:06:23] And mostly. Of what I already described, which is that I am the person who doesn't know much, who hasn't been very politically involved. I consistently voted, but I would take sort of other people's recommendations for who to vote for and wouldn't maybe necessarily understand the ins and outs of the issues, and so I knew.

[00:06:47] I would want to provide that voice. And then also I believed that that was actually an important voice, right. That I get. Yeah. I, I still find myself actually really frustrated when I will hear political discussions. And it sounds like inside baseball talk, it sounds like everybody is talking in this language that only they understand.

[00:07:07] And I think it can be really exclusive and exclusionary, and I've found that to be annoying and so, Really then believed more and more in the power and the necessity of being a voice that is not as educated, doesn't have necessarily the same background as some folks and but who is interested and wants to be involved.

[00:07:33] So, right. 

[00:07:33] Angela: I think that's really important. Some of the episodes that I've loved on your podcast, they're these, there's like different series, right? So you had a culture war series where you talked a lot about gender identity and gender topics within that. As you were creating the podcast, did you intend on sharing those topics and sharing your personal stories as well?

[00:07:54] Or how did that come about? No, 

[00:07:55] Nichole: we didn't really have a super mapped out plan. We knew. Well, I will say Claire actually knew that she wanted to start, or we wanted to start with education and I was, you know, I was fine with that. So we started with public education knowing that we wanted to really look at the different components, the different stakeholders and public education, but we didn't know beyond that what was going to come next.

[00:08:20] But then of course, like naturally it became clear that it would make sense to talk about elections because you know, we launched in August, right? Obviously we just had the midterms in November. So it just sort of naturally evolved that we would move to elections, which was very eye-opening for me because I, you know, I don't know about you, but I'd heard about.

[00:08:43] Or voter suppression, excuse me, but didn't really understand what that meant. I mean, I understood it on a very high level, but what does it actually look like when the vote is suppressed? And so we did that one and then, Also with the 88th Texas legislative session opening in January, we know that our Texas legislature spends a lot of time on culture war issues.

[00:09:08] So then that just sort of naturally felt like the next place to go. So we've not pushed too hard to know. Where we're going. You know, at some point it seems to make itself clear and um, that's actually been a really interesting part of it all is just to see, oh, feels like we gotta go this place next. But I think you also, and you asked me if I had always intended to share my personal story, and I guess the short answer is no, I hadn't.

[00:09:37] But when we did talk about gender identity, it just, I felt, of course, really moved and compelled. to share about my family, um, for so many reasons, but I'd say the top reason for me is that there's so much misinformation and disinformation and I definitely feel compelled and called to take down the temperature and share the reality for people.

[00:10:09] And as much as I'm able. to be patient and compassionate for a lot of the fear. Sometimes I'm not, I'll be honest, sometimes I'm not patient about about people's fears because sometimes it just feels so hateful. But where I can, I wanna be patient and deliver true information from a first person perspective as a parent of someone who is gender diverse.

[00:10:37] Angela: I appreciate that you have been so open and honest on your podcast about that. I mean, it, it definitely gives it a lot of heart, and I appreciate hearing your stories and your perspective. At one point, you mentioned that you sent a letter to your family about your, both of your children are non-binary.

[00:10:57] Is that correct? No. Or identify as non-binary? No. No. Okay. 

[00:11:00] Nichole: I have that wrong. Well, yeah, no, that's right. . Okay. Well, but if it's interesting, I always, okay. They really do. It's complex, right? It's complex and they will really like stretch the limits of how you look at these things. So my older kiddo identifies born female, identifies with she her pronouns, and is also very masculine presenting.

[00:11:30] So if you were to. see her across the street. You might likely assume that she was a boy, but she's not. And she again, identifies was she her pronouns and you know, okay, I'm born as a girl. Um, and then my younger kiddo is non-binary. Gotcha. And identifies with they them pronouns and is very female presenting.

[00:11:55] If you saw them across the street, you might assume that they were a girl, but they were born. . So yeah, it's, 

[00:12:03] Angela: and I love how we're like both of us are like carefully having this conversation because we're thinking about what is the proper way to describe something, right? I mean, you've mentioned on your podcast at the time that your kiddo who identifies as non-binary.

[00:12:22] Came out, you really kind of struggled with pronouns, which I can totally appreciate cuz I've done the same thing even as a gay person, you know, we are trying to dismantle this language that we've been accustomed to, I guess, and that has come from previous generations. So it's just a matter of changing, um, our language, evolving our mindset and staying open.

[00:12:46] But back to the letter, if you don't mind. I'm so sorry. I got . I totally sidetracked on that. Could you tell me more about that letter? Like how did that come about and was it helpful overall? 

[00:12:56] Nichole: I believe so, right? I mean, that's from, of course my perspective and my end of this situation. So, so my kiddo came, came out.

[00:13:08] I guess that's the best terminology in. , oh, goodness gracious. I think it was November of, of that year. And um, obviously, you know, November is the timing of holiday season and we, at that point, this is pre covid, so we were in our typical rotation and we just, in our family have this, again, typical rotation where we.

[00:13:34] Thanksgiving with my in-laws and Christmas with my family and vice versa. So the next year we reverse it and everybody's on the same schedule. So that means that when we have a holiday with my family, it's really, everybody's there because. Again, like they do the same with their in-laws and then with our family.

[00:13:56] So when we have a holiday together, it's a pretty big holiday, right? It means that it's all my cousins and my aunts and uncles. And so it's a lot of people. So we were, the schedule that year was that we were all gonna be together at Christmas, and that is in West Texas going to Midland. And I, you know, had a big, oh my goodness, like this is, this is really gonna throw people, you know, this.

[00:14:20] This is my conservative family, my conservative West Texas family. Love them dearly. Mm-hmm. . But it also, it, that's just the truth. And so I thought, oh man, you know, I just started to really think it through, like, what does this look like when we show up? You know, at that point we, I think this was. . Well, it is true.

[00:14:41] Cassie had already chosen a new name, so Cassidy is the name that they chose. So it was like, oh goodness, how am I gonna debut this name and, you know, explain and all of that. And it quickly, of course, became overwhelming to imagine doing that in person. I also couldn't visualize what the reactions might.

[00:15:02] And so the more I thought about it, the more I thought I need to write a letter and, and send it and allow them to have their own private reactions. and leave it open. Of course, at the end of the letter that you can ask me any questions, but please address them to me. And anything that you're uncomfortable with or have questions about, again, please direct to me, but don't let that seep out to Cassidy.

[00:15:25] The letter was sort of divided into three parts, so the first part of it was just the sharing of the information that Cassidy had shared with me. , their new identity. Well, I say new identity. I, I think to Cassidy, this was always their identity, but the newly sharing of it with us as their parents. But I realized too after kind of writing that first section that there was a lot in it that might not make sense if I didn't also do some basic.

[00:15:52] Educating, which by the way, I had to do for myself previous to writing this letter. I certainly didn't come to this family situation knowing everything I needed to know. I had to go on a deep dive myself. So for me, what made so much sense. when I finally, you know, did some reading and educating, was to break down the categories.

[00:16:13] So I just did very quick definitions, so I shared what gender expression is, what gender identity is, and then of course included sexuality. Although I also said that we would be discussing Cassidy's sexuality, it wasn't appropriate. It's private. And also, you know, they're kids , right? So I did those basic definitions and then again, just kind of closed with, if you have any thoughts, concerns, questions, please make sure that you direct them to me and you know, we look forward to spending the holidays with you.

[00:16:47] I didn't get any pushback. I did. Um, my family is one of those that tends to, we don't talk about the uncomfortable things. We pretend that everything is, And so , right? It's like, is that a Texas thing? I don't know. It must be. It must be. Um, so from what I could see most directly in front of me, everything was fine.

[00:17:12] But what will happen is that you will hear some family rumors. So I did hear some family rumors and some of those looked like some pushback against they, them pronouns that just like, that doesn't make sense, you know, that. , that sort of thing. And you know, I, that wasn't something I felt the need to address directly with anyone because I really, when I said that, I really believed that everybody could have their private reactions.

[00:17:39] I really meant it. And so I had to respect that. 

[00:17:44] Angela: Wow, I gotta give you that because I'm not a parent, but I'm putting myself in your place thinking. , that must be such a difficult thing to do of like, I'm gonna give you this information about my child and let you have an opinion. And if your opinion doesn't, you know, isn't positive towards me or my child, it's still gonna be okay.

[00:18:08] I mean, that is, that's got to be so difficult. I mean, of course it's gonna be okay. Everybody isn't entitle to their opinion, but just, you know, just the emotion of it must be really, really 

[00:18:18] Nichole: hard 

[00:18:20] Yeah. I mean, I've had time. This has been a couple years. God, I have to actually stop and think about that, but I've had time, so I, I'm not in the emotion of it like I was then, but yes, it was, it was difficult.

[00:18:35] It was really, really difficult because, you know, at that point too, I was, we were only months into understanding what was happening ourselves and what can be, I think, really challenging. The parent of a kiddo who is gender diverse, gender nonconforming. However, um, I state it is that there's, there's so much learning that I had to do and then also I had to become the ambassador.

[00:19:04] Right? And that can sometimes be a very, well, it can be a very isolating place. It can also be, it can also be challenging because I wanted to always, Front facing presentation of exuberant acceptance, right? Because really and truly, like I, I do like exuberantly, accept and love my child. And also there are lots of of challenges and lots of learning to do, lot of deconstructing, some deeply held thoughts that I didn't even know I had, honestly, until they were challenged.

[00:19:45] by having to learn the things that I learned, um, my own internal pushback against using they them pronouns. And it was like, whoa, where did that come from? Because it's not something that I really believe, and yet it's feels like this thing that's buried in me from who knows what language I heard growing up.

[00:20:05] And so it's just like, it, it's a lot to, to be navigating all at once, you know. . Mm-hmm. and yeah, it was a lot . Yeah. But you know, over time it gets easier. 

[00:20:18] Angela: Yeah. So in the beginning, what, what were the spaces or the places or the people who helped you when you were learning, you know, when you were trying to do the research for yourself, like what were the, the key places or people who really made a 

[00:20:32] Nichole: difference?

[00:20:33] I suspect this is true for a lot of challenging life moments. I'm gonna give a huge shout out to the community of parents of gender nonconforming and specifically trans kids. Um, so welcoming and loving and accepting. And. . So what happened for me is that I talked to a really good friend of mine who I've known since I was nine years old, who she's, you know, just amazing and she happened to be tapped into a network and so she put me in touch with a mom.

[00:21:10] I got in touch with that, you know, this was all within an hour. I mean, it was wild how fast it happened. She put me in touch with a mom who actually lived in Dallas, but she knew somebody in Austin and. By the next afternoon. I mean, it was that fast. I think within 24 hours we met at radio, the coffee plot spot and had coffee and talked.

[00:21:33] And at that point I was still really emotional about everything and so it really was important for me to meet with somebody who was farther along and she was such a. Kind force, and she just said, okay, here's what you need to do. You need to read this book, which was the transgender child. You need to find a therapist and you need to join our Facebook group.

[00:22:01] And so that's what I did. Right. And it helped tremendously. Then I didn't feel like things were coming at me. It felt like, okay, I'm, I'm walking alongside all of these things. Yeah, it just really changed at all. And instead of feeling overwhelmed, I felt honored, honestly, and, and privileged to get, to be challenged in this way, to get to learn new things, like the way that my world has expanded.

[00:22:28] I'm about to get emotional. I just, I wouldn't trade it for anything. I feel so lucky, you know, that I get to raise such a, well, two raise, two fascinating, interesting, kind, hilarious, fun children who expand my world in ways that I, I may not have had my world expanded, if not for them, and. I don't know. It just doesn't get better than getting to learn new things and meet new people and see so much more.

[00:23:03] You know, I just, I just don't know that I would see what I get to see now, and I'm so grateful. . 

[00:23:10] Angela: Yeah. And I can say that from a child's point of view, you know, I'm not a parent, but I always look to my parent, even at 48 years old, from a child's point of view, to have parents who are. You know, supportive or at least trying to learn and understand, that is all you can ask for.

[00:23:31] That's all you really want. You know, you just want somebody to advocate for you and cheerlead for you and not abandon you, so they're very lucky to have you as well. You know, 

[00:23:43] Nichole: really well. That's, um, I am, that is such a kind thing to say, but you know how it is, you know, it's just like, yeah, no, but I'm lucky.

[00:23:52] Angela: I'm curious though, with your podcast, you know, again, it highlights Texas politics and there's so much going on. , if I'm correct, there are like, I think 72 anti L G B T Q bills filed. I get this from Equality Texas. So I think this is correct. So how do you have those conversations with your kids about, you know, the current climate, especially here in Texas.

[00:24:13] It's gotta be a very scary thing. How do you guys have those conversations? 

[00:24:16] Nichole: I will say that it is, it is very challenging, right? Cuz it's, it's threading a needle. I want them to be aware and I also don't want them to live in fear. I don't want them to be burden. with that kind of fear. One of my hangups about all of this is that I think it's crazy that people have to advocate for their own existence.

[00:24:40] And so I, I also, it's a real kind of, honestly, like a little bit of a chip on my shoulder, so I don't ever want them to. That they have to become little activists if they want to be fantastic, but I don't want them to feel that they have to be. I feel like, honestly, all of this, these are adult problems.

[00:25:04] These are adults who have. Who have issues, , who have intolerance and, and hatred. And I don't think that kids should have to be in the middle of that. So that's part of my thing. So it is, it is a, a weird space to navigate to try to keep them aware, yet not scare them deeply. So I will say one conversation we had is that we are.

[00:25:32] Well, we were making them aware that many people, many families that we know have exit plans to leave the state. Um, it's become so, so intolerant and frightening that, um, people have, many people have, if, if they haven't already moved, have a plan for moving. And so we, we told them that and that we as a family, Have started to think about what that might look like for us, which of course was the, led them to ask, well, why?

[00:26:07] And so, you know, we explained that there are some lawmakers who are proposing some laws that could affect our family, and we want to always feel safe wherever we live. We don't wanna leave Texas, we love Texas. This is where we wanna. We love being close to our family. This is the only place we've known as a family, but we also want to be safe and careful, and they seem to handle it really well.

[00:26:38] I will say that what is unknown right, is when you walk away from those conversations, what they take away and hold in their heart, and that's where. . Again, really frustrated and upset and thinking about that. These are adult problems because I know, especially my little one is very sensitive and holds their cards really close to their chest.

[00:27:03] They really believe in making everybody else feel okay. They never want. Be a burden or overly share their upsets because they want everybody else to be happy. So the worry I have sometimes is that while they may seem to take in that conversation with relative ease, that in reality, you know, secretly they're really scared and that, that makes me nervous.

[00:27:35] Yeah. . Yeah. I will say one thing that is maybe, well it's not, it's not maybe different. It is different. But from, you know, when you and I grew up, we didn't have social media, right? So Oh yeah. The community for us was a lot different than it is for them. And so I think one thing that can be helpful is that they can see a broader community than just who they show up to school with.

[00:28:00] you know, walk down the street or go to the grocery store seeing they can see, you know, a, a worldwide community. So I think they can see a, a bigger world that is accepting. Um, so I don't know. I mean, that it is really, it's, it's tough. Yeah. But I like to think that that helps. 

[00:28:21] Angela: Yeah. Do you, I was thinking the, the biggest, uh, component of a child's life.

[00:28:26] I mean, really it's the atmosphere in your. , you know, than if that environment is a safe, loving environment that is truly, you know, it's gotta be a safe place. A safe space for somebody. That's truly the most important thing. I mean, you can go out to school and you know, You might see things that are uncomfortable, but like being able to go back to your home base and know that you have people to talk to and people who are supportive and people who love you unconditionally, that helps tremendously.

[00:28:56] I'm sure it's way more complex than that, but 

[00:28:59] Nichole: Yeah. But I do, I hope aspect. I believe. I believe that too. And I just, what you said made me think of something though, which is, I'm gonna bring it back actually to the podcast . Um, yes, please. But as we did our culture war series, you know, we kept finding these repeated themes and one of the themes that we kept finding is that there is a lack of clarity and many of.

[00:29:24] Pieces of legislation that were enacted in Texas as a result of culture wars, like critical race theory, abortion, um, uh oh well , the anti L G B T Q laws, and a lack of a willingness to provide clarity. And really what I'm getting at is that what that creates then is this chilling effect on people. And so I think the theme that you just made me recognize is, For folks who maybe would, maybe who were on the fence, they've never had experiences with someone who identifies as queer and maybe with.

[00:30:08] Some community tolerance and acceptance, they might be open to learning more. I think what scares me is that the chilling effect of the legislation and the rhetoric of so many lawmakers means that folks who might be on that edge instead of getting tipped into a willingness to learn, get tipped the other way and.

[00:30:38] Not wanna learn, dig in their heels, make all sorts of statements that are harmful and wouldn't create an environment for their child thinking that they're doing the right thing because they're protecting them, but in the end, making an intolerant place for their child to be. Hmm. I don't know. It's just something I just thought of is how the effect that, that, that chilling thing, what that might mean.

[00:31:03] Yeah. 

[00:31:04] Angela: I'm curious cuz you and I are both very much the same as far as you know, our involvement in politics. Honestly, your podcast has made me want to get more involved and feel the need to be more involved. And I should have felt that before, but I've always just been very timid. Everything you described at the beginning of this podcast resonated with me completely.

[00:31:24] So, um, I'm curious, how can our voices be heard, especially right now with. Political climate here in Texas, like what's something that we can do to impact change in the, in the legislation? Is there anything we can do? I always feel so helpless. I always feel like, you know, is my voice heard? It's so what's 

[00:31:47] Nichole: something we can do?

[00:31:48] I think that that in some ways is the, the intent I think sometimes is for people to feel powerless and, and then. Or apathetic and then powerless, you know, all of it. And so it is so important that we push back. And I would say that find a group that you would wanna advocate with. I don't think we are meant to do any of this alone.

[00:32:18] Right. And there are so many incredible activist and advocacy groups that can lead the way and can provide that guidance, whether. , maybe what's comfortable for one person is to write a letter to their rep, just expressing their opinion. Maybe for another person making a phone call or several phone calls would be comfortable.

[00:32:40] Maybe, you know, somebody wants to go to the Capitol and actually, you know, walk into offices and share their story and their opinion. You know, there's, there's so many levels. This is something I've finally recognized myself, is that there's. Of levels of involvement. And the best way I think to get plugged in is to find an advocacy organization who represents what you would wanna advocate for.

[00:33:04] And you know, in Texas specifically for l g BT Q issues, there's Tent, which is the Transgender Education Network of Texas. There is Equality Texas. Um, there's the human rights campaign, which I think just has a, you know, a Texas wing. Um, . What else? Who else am I forgetting? Oh my goodness. Locally... 

[00:33:29] Angela: Were you thinking about Out Youth?

[00:33:30] Nichole: Yes, I was thinking about youth. Thank you. Okay. That's exactly what I was thinking of. Um, and they also have great parent groups for anybody who is looking for parental support. They have incredible parent groups that are really great. So yes. Out youth P flag, right? There's, there's a lot of advocacy organizations to, to hook up with and let them guide.

[00:33:53] That's 

[00:33:53] Angela: actually something I really want to do this year that is on my radar. I've, you know, I haven't been involved and I want to be, cuz it is important to me. I think a 

[00:34:03] Nichole: really good start too is just sign up for all the newsletters. You know, if you go to websites, one of the first things, right, right, you typically get is that popup window where you can sign up for updates.

[00:34:12] And I feel like that's a good just way to start is just seeing what comes through in terms of their newsletters. I also want us to. Remember that. to be compassionate with ourselves like, like mm-hmm. , we're not all born to be, you know, speech givers on the steps of the capitol and that that is truly okay.

[00:34:37] There's, there are so many levels of involvement and roles to play. That's something that I've learned in that because I felt a lot of guilt about why am I not giving a speech on the steps of the capitol? Like, is this enough? You know, and it's like, yeah, actually. . There's a lot of different things to do and it in order for change to happen, it's not, it's not one thing.

[00:34:59] Right. It really is a movement that has different parts and pieces that hopefully coalesce into something bigger and so, mm-hmm. , just a reminder, I think, to not be too hard on one's self. 

[00:35:13] Angela: Yeah. That's a good reminder. Thank you. Before we end this part of the podcast, I'm curious, something you said earlier about your podcast.

[00:35:22] Sharing your personal journey as an LGBTQ parent. Um, I love all of those episodes. You know, they were just so impactful. Did, have you heard any feedback from other people about it? , 

[00:35:35] Nichole: I wondered. Right. I, I will, I'll say actually when every one of the Culture war episodes dropped, I was sort of waiting for some real pushback and I would Oh, 

[00:35:49] Angela: really?

[00:35:50] I, I kind of meant like more positive feedback, but interesting that you brought up. Okay. Pushback. Yeah. Interesting. 

[00:35:56] Nichole: Yes. Well, that's, that's what I was worried about. We got for the gender identity episodes. We didn't hear much. We didn't hear much. Heard some, heard some negative things. Um, interesting, particularly on TikTok.

[00:36:16] Interesting, um, when we posted a little section of the interviews, but not, not much. 

[00:36:24] Angela: It's so much easier for people to, you know, spout the negative stuff, right? I mean, it's so much easier. And, um, that's why I think it's so important if you're listening to this podcast and or listening, if you listen to Nicole's podcast later, any of our podcasts really

[00:36:40] I mean, we always wonder, are these. stories connecting. And if you could just shoot people a message and let 'em know, um, you know, go, it works wonders. I know for me, like if I hear somebody like really got value out of a certain episode, it makes a difference. And I think that, I know for me, uh, your podcast overall has just been awesome and this episode specifically meant a lot to me, so I appreciate it.

[00:37:05] Thank 

[00:37:05] Nichole: you. That is, that is, that is so, so good to hear. You're welcome. I will say our audience though, has surprised us. When we have heard back from people, we seem to be kind of the 50 plus set, which, you know, we mm-hmm. , we just didn't know. And that has, that's been really interesting cuz we've wondered if some of the things, particularly in the culture war series would be too challenging.

[00:37:33] It doesn't, I mean, I will say that our numbers have only gotten better. we haven't, not worse. That's awesome. They've only gotten better. So, um, people seem to be hanging in. 

[00:37:44] Angela: That's great. Will you tell us where people can find you? Social media, website, all that good stuff. And you've got something exciting coming up with South by, so if you'll throw that in there too.

[00:37:52] Oh yes. Thank 

[00:37:53] Nichole: you for that opportunity. Yeah. Um, so our website. www.gobehindtheballot.com. Our social media is at goin the ballot except on Twitter. It needs to be a little shorter. So it's at go behind ballot. There's no the. That's all the places you can find us. We, uh, were fortunate enough to get the opportunity to host a panel at South by Southwest.

[00:38:20] We'll be there on March 13th at 1130 at the Hilton downtown hosting a panel on Food and Security in Texas, which also is our next series. Um, we decided to build it out then and just make it a podcast series, and I tell you that has. Fascinating. I bet, I bet. Fascinating. So yeah. Yeah. Eyeopening, I'm sure.

[00:38:46] Eyeopening. Eyeopening. Yeah. And, and not only, you know, looking at food insecurity and hunger as, you know, a statewide issue and of course a national issue. But honestly, it, it. really made me look at my own life, my own previous history. Mm-hmm. and also how I view hunger and poverty. It's just, it's been, it's been really interesting.

[00:39:13] Wow. Unexpected. Yeah. 

[00:39:16] Angela: Thank you for being here with me. Really thank you for sharing. It has meant a lot to me. I appreciate you. Thank you 

[00:39:21] Nichole: for having me sharing your story. I was so excited to join, so thank you. 

[00:39:28] Angela: Hey everyone, thank you so much for joining me on today's podcast. If you'd like today's episode, please share it with someone who will get value from it as well.

[00:39:35] And please head to Apple Podcast to rate and review this podcast so that our lgbtq plus community and friends can find it. Thanks again everyone. Until next time.